Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
