; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
