You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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