Too much gin, very little bucket
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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