party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
