No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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