The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
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i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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