hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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