she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
