no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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