My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
