If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
