return my video game
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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