Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
