I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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