is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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