I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you inspire me to be a worse person
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
