just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
