I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
