No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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