Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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