Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
