hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
