Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
