Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
There r osticjed everywhere
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
we're so committed to being not committed
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
