I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
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Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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