she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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