the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
