don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
