I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
