He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Semen is not good for contacts.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
