i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
