Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Will you blow on my dice?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
