Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
