He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
