I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My vagina is very pro this idea
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
