I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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