True but thats because hes a fetus.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
