tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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