just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Life is so much better after having sex.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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