a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
