He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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