We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
