Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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