There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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