halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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