I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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