My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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