So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
