Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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