so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize