I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
is wine microwaveable?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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