remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
