he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
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Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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