So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
