i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
