i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Randomize
