found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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