This girl is more easily done than said...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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