So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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