So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
