Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
