i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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