That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
