He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize