so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
