4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Nicole vs. Life
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
