Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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