I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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