i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
